Well I woke up this morning
I rolled out of bed
I felt like a dog who's been
Kicked in the head
Checked out my mail
There was letter that read
Love for sale, love for sale
I picked up the phone
I called everyone I could
I let my fingers do the walking
Through the telephone book
You can't catch a fish
If you ain't got the hook
Love for sale, love for sale
Send up a signal
Throw me a line

Somebody explain "this funny Valentine"
It might not be legal
But it sure ain't a crime
I'm one step from crazy and two steps
behind

I called Lt. Columbo from my TV set

I've tried the Dating Game

I haven't found her yet

I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse

Love for sale, love for sale

We've been living together

3 years, 2 hours, 20 minutes

Maybe four hundred beers

You can't shop for love when

You're shopping at Sears

Love for sale, love for sale

I guess I've learnt my lesson

It was easy to see

My old lady she played this joke on me

I never looked where I forgot it would be

Love for sale, love for sale

Love for sale, love for sale

Love for sale, love for sale