I am the man, the well-fed man in charge of the terrible knob.
The most pleasing thing about it, it's almost a permanent job.
When the atom war is over and the world is split in three
A consolation I've got, well maybe it's not, there'll be nobody left but me.

I sit at me desk in Washington in charge of this great mashine,
More vicious than Adolf Hitler, more deadly than strichenine,
And in the evening after a tiring day just to give meself a laugh
I hit the button a playful belt and I listen for the blast.

Well, I am the man, the well-fed man in charge of the terrible knob.
The most pleasing thing about it, it's almost a permanent job.
When the atom war is over and the world is split in three
A consolation I've got, well maybe it's not, there'll be nobody left but me.

If Breznjev strats his nonsense and makes a nasty smell
With a wink and a nod from Nixon I'll blast them all to hell
And as for that fellow Castro, him with the sugar cane,
He needn't hide behind his whiskers, I'll get him just the same.

Well, I am the man, the well-fed man in charge of the terrible knob.
The most pleasing thing about it, it's almost a permanent job.
When the atom war is over and the world is split in three
A consolation I've got, well maybe it's not, there'll be nobody left but me.

If me wife denies me conjucular rights or me breakfast milk is sour
From eight to nine in the morning you're into a nervous hour
The button being so terribly close, it's really a dreadful joke
A bump with me ass as I go past and we all go up in smoke

Well, I am the man, the well-fed man in charge of the terrible knob.
The most pleasing thing about it, it's almost a permanent job.
When the atom war is over and the world is split in three
A consolation I've got, well maybe it's not, there'll be nobody left but me.

Now I'm thinking of joining the army, the army that bans the bomb
We'll take up a large collection and I'll donate me thumb.
For without it I am helpless and that's the way to be.
You don't have to kill the whole bloody lot to make the people free.