Oh, well imagine,
As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
And I can't help but to hear,
No, I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words,

What a beautiful wedding,
What a beautiful wedding,
Says a bridesmaid to a waiter,
Oh yes, but what a shame,
What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whore,

[Chorus:]
I chime in with a,
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things,
With a sense of poise and rationality.

I chime in,
"Haven't you people ever heard of, closing the goddamn door?"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things,
With a sense of,

Well in fact,
Well I'll look at it this way,
I mean technically our marriage is saved,
Well this calls for a toast so pour the champagne,

Oh, Well in fact,
Well I'll look at it this way,
I mean technically our marriage is saved,
Well this calls for a toast so pour the champagne, pour the champagne.

[Chorus x4]