FisHey, folks! Begging your pardon!
D‘Scuse me! Sorry to barge in
BNow let’s skip the tears and start on the whAole
Y’know Gis  
Being dead thing
fisYou’re doomed! Enjoy the singing
DThe sword of Damocles is swinging
BAnd if I hear your cell-phone ringing
I’ll kAill you myself
The wgishole being dead thing!
b Death can get a person stressed
“We sFishould have carpe’d way more diems
Now we’re never gonna see ‘em!"
gisI can show you what comes next
So don’t be freakedCis  
Stay in your seats D 
I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week!
CisSo just relax, you’ll be fine
Drink your fifty-dollar wine
And take a breath!
Welcome to a show about death!
FisYou’re…
You’re gonna be fEine…
On the oBther side…
FisDIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
FisI'll...
I’ll be your gEuide...
To the Bother side…
DOh, and full disclosure: It’s a sCishow about de
g Everybody gets on fine here
Like DisRodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here
CThe women’s bathroom has no line here
Just...
N.C.
Pee where you want!
The Awhole being dead thing!
g You’re just gonna love the folks here
DisYeah, I know you’re woke, but you can take a joke here!
And eCvery show I do, like, a TON of coke here
The whole-


PAH-HAH! The whole being dead thing!

c Nobody is bullet-proof!
G“I work out, I eat clean!”
g Jesus, pass the FDramamine
c Time to face the brutal truth:
‘Cause d we’re all on a hitlist

Might not live ‘till Christmas
Choke to death on Triscuits

Hey, that’s just statistic
So tDisake a little break here
gisKinda like a wake here
The sdiscenery is fake here
But thDisere's a giant dissnake here!

|g | |g | |g | |b | |C#|

DisWelcome to a show about death!
GYou’re…
You’re gonna be fG7ine…

THANK YOU!

On the oDther side…

HOW YOU DOIN’?
CWoah! Not good!
BaG-be-ba-ba-be-Fbo-boo-bap-boop!

f I’ll…
I’ll be disyour guide!
To the other B sidCe!
N.C.
Seriously, though, this is a show about-
b Death is taboo, but it’s hardly something nf ew
There’s nothing mb edical professionals can do
'Cept mFaybe just bf ill you

If you die while listening to this album
It's still gonna keep playing  F   Dis  

There’s no db estiny or fate
Just a f terrifying wait
Filled with b people that you hate
And on a certDisain date, the universe kiClls you!

N.C.
That’s the thing with life:
No-one makes it out alB ive!
CToss that body Din the c pit
“GGosh, it’s awful, ain’t it tragic?”
“Blah, blah, Bible JesFus magic.”
c When you’re dead, who gives a shit?
g No pilates, no more yoga!

“Namaste”, you freakin’ posers
c From the cradle to cremation
B Death just needs a little conversation!
DI have mastered the art (Dies Irae!)
Of tearing conventiDison apDart (Dies Irae!)
So, hDow about we all make a start (Dies Irae!)
On the wGishole Dbeing dGead thing!

[ALL]
DGod, I hope you’re ready for a show about death! G