They don't make 'em like the used to
No, kids these days just ain't the same
I can molest them all day long
And barely feel anything in my schlong

Now only one thing excites me
Unholy prepubescent blasphemy

So with my unparalleled knowledge
Of theoretical physics
I will build a time machine
And begin my semen-stained journey

Engage the flux capacitor
Prepare to travel through the space time continuum
I set a course for the holy manger
And bring a wiseman costume from Target

Follow the star
Crawl through some hay
Murder a goat

I arrive to see the newborn Christ
And I've already got a huge boner
I shove his stupid bitch mom to the ground
And drop a deuce on her chest for good measure
I jam my wang into the baby's ass
And give him my gift of a Myrrhy Sanchez
I blow my load right on Jesus' face
It's kind of funny 'cause it looks like his beard