Always the gentleman, I've brought my date flowers.
But I'm late for our rendezvous as I've been digging for hours.
"CURSES!" I scream, for i have soiled my clown suit.
I can feel it in my loins now. Soon I shall sample the forbidden fruit.

My biceps strain as I pry off this lid
To reveal my love inside, her name was Enid.
Or so I am told by the headstone inscription
I pray her flesh holds up to the impending friction.

Unleashing my manhood I am horrified to find
My dear has no vagina and no more behind
It's all rotted off, but there's no need to fear
I'll just stab a hole elsewhere, and jam it in there